Welcome to The Hormone Prescription Podcast!
In this episode, we're talking about how healthy conflict resolution can improve your relationships and your health. Our guest is Mary Shores, author of the book Conscious Communications.
Mary shares her insights on why it's so important to resolve conflict in a healthy way, and gives us some practical tips on how to do just that. If you're struggling with conflict in your life, whether at home or at work, this episode is for you!
In this episode, you will learn:
-Why healthy conflict resolution is so important
-How to resolve conflict in a healthy way
-Practical tips for resolving conflict in your own life
So tune in now, and learn how healthy conflict resolution can improve your relationships and your health!
[00:55] You're gonna love our guest today and the topic that we are discussing. It's all about communication. How conscious is your communication? And like in the quote that I started the episode with, are you able to change your mind about things or are you seeking optimal health and hormone balance saying I wanna be exactly the same way I am now doing what I'm doing, thinking what I'm thinking. And I want my hormones to change because I hate to tell you, but mm it's not gonna happen because you do have to change your mind to change your hormones.
[01:54] Mary shores is an innovative communication expert and bestselling author who transforms people's words to help them fall back in love with their work and their customers. 15 years ago, Mary discovered a game changing formula to improve connections among people. It all started with a, do not say list and grew into an entire strategy that will fix your relationships, which by the way, will fix your hormones and your health. Welcome Mary. My pleasure to be here. I'm so excited. Yes. I love your book. And just so I don't forget to, to say the whole title, Mary shores, conscious communications, your step by step guide to harnessing the power of your words, to change your mind, your choices and your life published by hay house.
[03:04] So, you know, since this is a hormone show, I'll go ahead and say this. But when I was 19 and one time I had went to a doctor, they put me on a, an antibiotic, but didn't tell me that antibiotics cancel out birth control. So I ended up pregnant after a healthy pregnancy. I was met with sudden tragedy when my daughter had suffered lack of oxygen to the brain for over five minutes due to umbilical cord asphyxia, which basically meant the way they explained it to me was that her umbilical cord had ruptured. So my daughter Haley was born with severe and profound brain damage. This left her blind death and on life support.
[03:58] And the thing is though, when I got done with that ordeal, I was really lost in life. You know what I mean? I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I felt like my peers had, had moved on, had started their careers. So I decided to go into the family business, which is debt collection. And so oftentimes people don't understand like where is this connection between like debt collection, communication and connection. But for me, I think that because I had lived on the other side of Stu financial stability during that time with my daughter, I had absolutely no resources.
[04:45] And I definitely saw the connection between how debt collectors communicate with people and how that, that causes so much stress and trauma, you know, and I realized very quickly that the common denominator is just having a debt can be a trauma, let alone the way that people are stigmatized over it, or the way that they're treated over it.
[05:41] So I just started to study and I wanted, you know, my big aha moment came when one day I looked at the phone and I said out loud, I just want the next person. I speak to, to be happier at the end of the call than they were at the beginning. Now that was so many years ago. And honestly, I had no idea how I was going to make that happen. But I started with one concept, which was this do not say list. And the do not say list is exactly what it sounds like. It's a list of words we never say, which are no, not can't won't however, and unfortunately
[06:19] So I'm sorry for your loss. And it sounds like it forced you to go into the family business. And because you had this kind of spiritual bent already, and you were going into what probably most people think of as a non-spiritual business, you had a different perspective to bring, to kind of evolve that. And so thank goodness you said, I just want the next person I talk to, to feel better after I get off the phone with them than when they got on the phone, when I got on the phone with them. And so you have the, the do not say list, which I love. I try not to use those words as well.
[07:05] Even if it's reasonable, I get angry immediately because nobody likes being told, no, you can't, you can't have that or no. And tell me what you can do. Don't tell me what you can't do. So this started the do not say list. And then how did it evolve from there? Cuz really you've come to this place now where you've taken it to a whole nother level and your personal journey, evolutionary journey, I think really will speak volumes to women, many women at midlife who are wondering like, what's wrong with me? What's happened to me. I don't know. I feel like myself and my own skin anymore. How do I feel good. And so what happened next on your journey? That was your evolution.
[08:05] And so I turned to neuroscience and specifically neurobiology because I wanted to know like what is happening in the brain and the body and the nervous system when we're communicating and turns out that was like the most brilliant thought I had ever really had because you know, starting with a, do not say list, what I learned was when we are, and it doesn't matter if you're speaking the words or if you're hearing the words, but what's happening when we're enveloped in these negative words, you know, if