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Menopause Tsunami: How to Ride the Hormone Waves Like a Badass

Ladies, it's time to take control of your hormones and ride the waves. In this episode, we're joined by Dr. Shelly Burns, a doctor of chiropractic, a gym owner, a fitness expert for 20 years, a life coach, and creator of The FIT Menopause Blueprint™ who shares her insights on how to manage menopause and keep your cool during the hormone tsunami. So whether you're in the thick of menopause or just starting to feel the effects, this episode is for you.

You'll learn:

  • Four pillars of hormone health

  • Lifestyle changes to make to manage your menopause symptoms

  • The best foods to eat during menopause

  • Working out during menopause

  • Top mindset strategies to remove menopause roadblocks

  • And so much more!

If you're struggling with menopause or know someone who is, this episode is a must-listen. Share it with a friend and let's get through this transition together!

(00:00): All energy is only borrowed. And one day you have to give it all back. That's a quote from the avatar movie. What does this have to do with perimenopause and menopause and riding the hormone waves like a badass? stay tuned. And you'll find out with my guest, Dr. Shelly Burns.

(00:20): So the big question is how do women over 40, like us, keep weight off, have great energy balance. Our hormones and our moods feel sexy and confident and master midlife. If you're like most of us, you are not getting the answers you need and remain confused and pretty hopeless to ever feel like yourself. Again. As an OB GYN, I had to discover for myself the truth about what creates a rock, solid metabolism, lasting weight loss, and supercharged energy. After 40 in order to lose a hundred pounds and fix my fatigue. Now I'm on a mission. This podcast is designed to share the natural tools you need for impactful results. And to give you clarity on the answers to your midlife metabolism challenges, join me for tangible natural strategies to crush the hormone imbalances you are facing and help you get unstuck from the sidelines of life. My name is Dr. Kyrin Dunston welcome to the hormone prescription podcast.

(01:13): Hey everybody. And welcome back to another episode of the hormone prescription podcast with Dr. Kyrin. I'm so grateful that you decided to join us today. You're gonna love my guest. She and I have been in the mastermind together for quite a bit of time. And we share a passion for women's health hormones, all things menopause and perimenopause, and she has helped so many women. She had an amazing summit around menopause recently that you might have attended. And she's got a lot of other great resources, and she's very inspirational. So you're gonna love her. I'm gonna tell you a little bit about her and then we'll get started. And we'll even dive into that quote that I shared with you from the avatar movie. I mean, I saw the movie, but I didn't remember this quote till Shelly brought it to my attention and I love it.

(02:02): And I'll tell you why in the episode. So Shelly Burns is a doctor of chiropractic. She's also a gym owner, CrossFit and a fitness expert, and she's been doing that for over 20 years. She's also a life coach and creator of the Fit, Menopause Blueprint. She has always been passionate about health, fitness, and wellness. And she's gonna tell you why she's particularly passionate about women's health and the perimenopause and menopause in the episode. And she strives to be a guide for women battling hormonal obstacles, which is like just about every one of us over 40. She feels no woman should be staring at themselves in the mirror wondering who is looking back at them. Has that happened to you or feeling alone in their struggles? I know that's happened to me. Women need to be helping women. So welcome Dr. Shelly Burns.

(02:56): Thank you, Dr. Kyrin for having me today.

(02:59): Really excited to have you and talk about hormones and menopause. Two of my favorite topics. And I know everybody is gonna be curious as to why are you so passionate about menopause and about hormones? How did that happen?

(03:18): Well, right now I'm 45 currently. And when I was 43, I've always been really in shape, taking care of my body. I race these international races. I travel. And then within, I'm gonna say three months, I gained 20 pounds. I started out with mild anxiety that grew to major anxiety and panic attacks within eight months and slowly over this period of time, I went from feeling like a badass to not even being able to look at myself in the mirror. I wasn't sleeping. I was exhausted day and night. I, even if I tried to take a nap during the day, I couldn't take a nap. So I would go to my, went to my primary doctor and, and he prescribed me an anti-anxiety med. And then two months later I was even more anxious and I was confused. Because I'm like, well, now I'm taking this stuff because cause I'm not a big, uh, prescription.

(04:11): I don't really like to take things if I can help it. So the fact that I couldn't control my anxiety really bothered me. So then I went back, he increased the dose. I started having major panic attacks. He increased the dose again and added something else. And finally, my relationship was not doing very well cause I could not even communicate what I was feeling or what I was going through. And I'm a big communicator. So the fact that I couldn't even pinpoint what was going on or why I was feeling so terrible, I decided to go to another doctor because I felt like I was maybe just going crazy. So she did a blood test and did all that stuff. Not, I didn't know what she was testing for. I was just like, yeah, sure. When she came back, she started asking me things like, well, do you sweat at night?

(04:53): And like wake up. I'm like, yeah, but you know, I sleep in bed with five dogs and a person. And she, I said, so it was either that or I kept thinking I had COVID, and she's like, no, no. How many times a week? And I said, well, at least two or three. And so she started asking those questions that I didn't really know what she was trying to ask. And she's like, well you're in perimenopause and this could be why the anxiety you're, you're increasing cortisol. You're you're not sleeping. You're having night sweats. And the weight gain was another big one. And then I started breaking out, which I still kind of have a problem with that, but that's kind of how it all started. My, because when she told me you're in peri menopause, I think my reaction was like, what? Like I'm not 50 I'm 43. And she goes, oh no, no. So I learned a lot just in that one sentence, like you're in per menopause, cuz I almost was appalled that she said I was in menopause, but that was just my, that was my education and ignorance at that point, I didn't, I've never had never heard of it. I knew what menopause was, but that was about it. That's kind of what started it.

(05:51): Yeah. You know, it's, you're not unique in that. I mean here I was OB GYN. My health was a show in my forties and it never occurred to me. This is the menopause transition. It never once occurred to me. So we have this kind of dialogue going on, that, oh no. Menopause is, you know, for women in their fifties when the period stops completely and everything else before it has nothing to do with it. I think we should change the whole transition to make it call it the menopause transition. And it starts really at 40 so that we can include our sisters in the forties. Cuz then they won't think, like you said, you thought you were crazy. I thought I was crazy too. And here I had the credentials to know I should've known better, but you know, we're not taught that. So we don't know what we're not taught. So you're very passionate about it. And you come from a fitness background, right?

(06:47): Yeah. I I've owned a gym for 20 years. Well one was in LA and then I moved to North Carolina and had another gym. But in that time, I became a personal trainer while I was in chiropractic school. So for about 20 years, I've done both. So really into doing the things we can to con you know, to help ourselves live longer. Um, I, I wanna be 80 and be able to be out doing what I wanna do. I don't wanna be, you know, stuck in a wheelchair on a cane. So I'm very passionate about just longevity through taking care of our bodies.

(07:19): Yes, absolutely. I love this quote that you shared with me before we started from the avatar movie. All energy is only borrowed and one day you have to give it back. What does that mean?

(07:32): From my perspective, cuz when I first read that or saw that it was, I loved it because I do feel like we are, we are in this temporary space, our bodies are in this temporary space and we, if, if your spiritual in any way, you know, our energy is coming from a higher power. And to me, it's just, that we're using it while we're here. It's not ours, but we're given this opportunity to live this life in our own, in our best way. And so to give it back means like, you appreciate what you have at the momentin the moment. Like I have another quote. I like to say at the end of my podcast, I am trying to enjoy every moment of every movement because in my head we're like, we're not guaranteed another movement. I've met people that are in wheelchairs and all sorts of situations that they didn't see coming. So I'm always like we have these bodies, like let's use 'em and enjoy 'em and, and have that freedom that we like to do, like go hiking or ride a bike or go swimming. It's just a powerful thing that we have that we should use this energy that we're given.

(08:30): Yeah. I love this concept because it, it really speaks to something that I talk with people about the fact that we kind of are this soul, this energy being, and we come to earth, but that every particle that physically makes up our body is given to us by the plants and animals and resources first that when we're in the womb that our mother consumes and transmutes that literally organize around the energy that we are and create our bodies. And then when we're born, we continue to take the external environment, you know, fruits, vegetables, animal proteins, into our body and change it. So we're taking that energy from their bodies, plant bodies, animal bodies, and we're changing it into our flesh and blood. And then when we're done with it, we discard the body, and we're still the energy. And so I love, I know I saw avatar, but I don't remember this quote, but I love that you pulled this out.

(09:31): All energy is only borrowed. And one day you have to give it back. And I love the concept. Like, are we being good stewards of it? Because it's not just for us. It's given to us on loan and I don't know about you, but if a friend loans me a pair of shoes, I take better care of it than I do my own shoes. And so I love this concept of it's just ours to borrow, and we have to give it back. Okay. So let's dive into how we can be good stewards of this energy that is ours to use in this lifetime. I wanna talk a little bit, I know you have the new book coming out, menopause, tsunami, how to ride the hormone waves, like a bad. Who wants that? Y'all I know each one of you <laugh> so what are some principles behind that? I think it gets to your four-step system, is that right?

(10:25): Yeah. So basically when I found out I was in para menopause, being a chiropractor and fitness and in the whole, the body, I really dove into research, which I know you and I have talked about this before. Like I really dove into the research and, and how to approach being in this period differently. Like why wasn't my workout six days a week, sometimes two days, why weren't they working anymore? Why wasn't my nutrition working anymore? I was doing the same thing I did in my thirties, but I could barely lose a pound. So I really like diving into life over 40. And like, what are the best workouts were the best nutrition, things like that. And I put together this thing called the fit menopause blueprint, which is where I developed the four pillars, which are fitness, nutrition, mindset, and self-care. So in the book I break down kind of my journey and how I found these four pillars.

(11:12): And then what I do within the four pillars. So like fitness, for example, uh, that pillar, I do own a CrossFit gym. Now I love the competitiveness of CrossFit, but I've also learned over time that I can't put that much stress on my body anymore and expect to get the results. So it was almost when I decreased the strain I was putting on my body and still got in really good workouts, like hit type workouts. I was getting, I started getting results. So I almost stopped doing what I was doing and looked at it differently. Even though I wasn't torturing my body. Like you do in CrossFit, I still was getting in workouts, but I wasn't taking my body to that high cortisol level where I wasn't gonna recover or get the effects and the benefits of the exercise. So that's like, that is, is the fitness when I go more in depth than there and talk about like exactly what the benefits of HIIT and things like that, and then nutrition and then self-care and mindset.

(12:05): Can we talk about a little more in depth about the fitness, cuz I think what you're mentioning, women listening are experiencing and they're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, Shelly, tell me more about that. Because you know, there are different groups of women who really are in my community and one of the groups is those are those women who do CrossFit and they're real fitness fanatics and they get into their forties. And then all of a sudden exactly what you said, I'm working out like crazy and I can't even lose a pound. So can you speak a little bit more in detail about what's happening, why that's happening and do we need to work out differently? So...

(12:50): What in my own journey and then my clients, cuz now I, now I help other people with this. I have found that I still do CrossFit, but I do two to three days a week of CrossFit. And what I stop doing is the really heavy lifting. So I like to lift, but I don't need to take my body to that extreme of really straining underneath really heavy weights. Some women can do that, but as I got older, I realized I can't do that. So with that two to three times a week of CrossFit, and then I do the other two to three times a week of HIIT. Now HIIT is the high intensity interval training, but a lot of women do hit wrong. You'll see boutique gyms where they're like HIIT workouts, and they're 45 minutes to an hour long, but hit workouts. If you do them correctly, you're not gonna last 45 minutes to an hour.

(13:33): HIIT workouts tend to be, I've seen all different stats, but seven minutes to like 20 minutes. But the idea is when you are doing that work period, let's say 45 seconds on and 15 seconds off that 45 seconds, you are supposed to be hitting 90% of your max capacity of what you have to give. So that 90%, you're not gonna be able to keep a 90% capacity over45-minuteute period. That's not gonna happen. So those people that are doing those hit long, long workouts are not quite doing hit. And that's why sometimes hit is not getting people the results that they want. You wanna do shorter workouts, shorter bursts, where you get that rest period. So you're getting the heart rate up down your body's getting recovery. You're not taking it to that threshold of extreme stress like you do in, in some workouts.

(14:19): So we do have to work out differently and from what, what I've changed and from, from what the lady, my clients changed, it's made a huge difference because I also had people in my gym that when they found out I was doing this over 40 fitness, they signed up even, they were already members at the gym. And one of their biggest things they said to me is I've been doing CrossFit with you now for a year, two years. And my body hasn't changed at all. Like I still have this, you know, a little bit of weight in my waist. And a lot of the women had maybe 10, 15 pounds of lose, not anything major like 50 pounds or a hundred pounds. So, they were frustrated cuz they've been doing it for so long. They were working out four or five days a week.

(14:54): They weren't getting any results. And I said, listen, how about we change it up a little bit. Let's do two to three days of CrossFit. I will write up two to three days of hit workouts, and we'll try to decrease the strain on your body. And all of a sudden, within four weeks they could tell they, their energy was higher. They were, were covering, up, they were sleeping better. So then I was like, okay, fitness, you know is on it, but it's not the whole thing. Cuz obviously nutrition is 90% of somebody's journey and health. So I do feel like with the hit workouts, people just are doing them wrong. Mm-hmm <affirmative>, it's been taken too far where in order to get the most benefits from hit workout, it's 90%. I mean, you're at a sprint for 30, 45 seconds. Mm-hmm <affirmative> you get that rest period to bring it down. So that is the fitness part. And it's just, we as women think we have to do six, seven days a week, cuz that's what we did before. But our, we are not in our thirties anymore and that's not going to get us the results. There might be a small handful of women that get results doing that. But I mean, ideally we're fighting against our own bodies when we do that.

(15:54): Got it. All right. So number one, we've gotta change our output with our fitness, but you just said nutrition is 90% of the results we're getting. So explain that to us, Shelly.

(16:05): So with nutrition and owning a gym, everybody likes to just think it's all about working out, but it does matter what we put in our bodies, and I'm not one that's of strict nutrition. I'm not a nutritionist, but I just have been doing nutrition challenges and have a lot of certs of nutrition. And in my chiropractic degree, we Studi a lot of pharmacology and nutrition and things like that too. So I always feel like we're fueling our bodies. So I'm one that I don't like to drink my calories. I like to eat them. So if I'm gonna have something, I prefer it to be something that I would enjoy eating. But with nutrition, it can be hard because you want to have, you want it to be part of your lifestyle. You wanna enjoy what you're eating. A lot of people go on vacation, and they have this thing where they feel like they're torturing themselves.

(16:48): So it's really this uncomfortable and unhealthy relationship with food because we should still be able to go out and have a good meal or, you know, have a drink here and there. And which is a lot of people I realized women's hold up as they're like, can I drink alcohol? And maybe it's just cuz we're all over 40 now. And we need to drink, drink more often. But yeah, a lot of, a lot of women struggle with even when they hear the word nutrition, they think they have to cut all a bunch of stuff out and starve themselves. But what I try to get women to do is just eat whole foods, try to stop eating the processed foods, you know, eat more fruits and vegetables, vegans, you know, they have to find their own source of protein because two, one of the most important things, which I'm sure you'll agree is we have to increase our protein in this time. That's the number one thing I learned in nutrition for women over 40 and impairing menopause, we have to increase our protein. We're decreasing muscle mass and bone density over time. We're fighting against that. So we have to fuel our bodies with what it needs to stay strong.

(17:44): Yes we are protein deficient y'all so you got to up your protein. So definitely we've got fitness changes we need to make in our regimens. We've got nutritional input changes. And then you talked about mindset. I know that's one of your favorite topics. Let's dive into that a bit. What, you know, I think people hear about mindset so often when they hear it, they kind of just tune out and go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stress management. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mindset. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what does that mean to you? How can you help them get it so that it really has impact for them?

(18:18): Yes. Mindset was one of those. I always say, I always said it was woo. Woo. I'm like, yeah. Okay. Whatever. Just like you said, but the more I started reading, I was reading a lot of women that were in their fifties and postmenopausal, and they were talking about looking back and how they were struggling at the time. But now that they're through it, they're trying to like to give the, the younger people hope like, listen, it's, it's a period of time, but they were like living life. They were like, this is the best, best they've ever felt and they're in their fifties. So it kind of made me think about it a little differently. I started like researching like, well, why are they feeling better? You know, what are they doing? And, and how are they, why do they think this is their best life at 50?

(18:58): So I really started diving into that. And then I came across a ton of limiting beliefs. Like I'm not good enough. I'm never gonna lose this weight. All those things that women struggle with, I could have the healthiest girl in the gym here. Who's everybody would want to be, if you put her in a lineup of 10 people, everybody would pick this girl to be, and she is so negative, but that's like what women do. Like we are so hard on ourselves and she's like perfect to everybody else. But then she's still has things bad to say about ourselves. So as women, it's a battle constantly with how we talk to ourselves. Um, how people maybe have talked to us in our past. So with mindset, I first try to get women to look at this period of life differently. Yeah. It's hard. We're struggling to get up during the day.

(19:40): Maybe you're, you're one that is really struggling at your job. You know, things like that, where we just are facing all this stress from the outside, which is increasing our cortisol, which we don't want. So it's about wrapping our head around like, yes, this is where we're at, but I know if I take care of myself, if I'm taking care of myself, there are good things going on inside my body. Even if I'm not quite benefiting from all of it, like we are, we still need to increase our muscle mass and bone density or, or try to keep what we have. So mindset is just important to embrace where you're at. Even if you're struggling, like you're having a bad day. Sometimes the best thing to do is go out and go for a walk, like getting that in nature and that freedom and just knowing and being appreciative of where you're at. Like we talked about, like we have these bodies, like why are we gonna waste them sitting around on a, on a couch or not really doing things we wanna do. Mm-hmm <affirmative> skydive and stuff when I'm 60. So I'm trying to like preserve as much as I can just so that I can live life. Like why retire and, and not be able to do much cuz you haven't taken

(20:40): Care. Wait, have you been skydiving?

(20:43): No, but it's on my bucket list.

(20:44): Is it on your bucket list? Okay. So let's dive into this and I agree with you, you know, I think mindset is everything. It's everything at every age. But particularly at midlife, if we buy into the BS that society says who we are over 50 or even over 40 as women we're doomed. Right? Cause we're basically told by society that we are old undesirable, sexless over the hill, like we're done. And I think nothing could be further from the truth. So what are your top strategies? Like you mentioned using your body, going for a walk, like what are your top strategies for people who are in that negativity? Like it's not possible for me, it's too late for me, all these negative beliefs that we have, I'll never lose the weight. I'll never right. So 75% of us at the age of 60 are overweight or oh obese. In my opinion, it's because we believe that that's what's normal quote, unquote normal because seven 75% of us have it. It's not what's possible. Right? We can be a healthy, we can be the best weight we've ever been. We can have the highest muscle mass we've ever had, but we have to make up before it can happen in our bodies. It has to happen in our minds. We have to make up our minds first. And so what are your top strategies for people to stop believing the BS and change their mindset and their beliefs.

(22:16): So I almost have to come at it from a different angle with clients in that I have to start getting them small wins from the beginning. So one of my top things I try to do first is increase somebody's energy, help them increase their energy so that they then have energy to a lot of 'em are like, I have no energy to do that. I have five kids and a husband and you know, whatever. So it's increased energy. So these small wins and then getting them to be like, I feel better. And then as a coach and as a trainer and as a professional, then it's trying to get them to almost embrace that on their own, like a life coach being a life coach too. Like you're trying to get them to figure out what is making them feel better. So I have to come at it like a different angle.

(22:59): But before we talk about that, you mentioned the whole, I was going to this therapist during this time. I didn't know I was in perimenopause and he was a man in his forties and he was said to me, cuz I was like, I'm really frustrated. Like I can't run. I'm not racing. Like I've gained weight. And he's like, well, you know, you just, you know, you're over 40 now. Sometimes you just have to accept where you're at. And he said multiple of these comments over a period of like a month. And then another time he said, I said, I have this anxiety. I just don't, it's getting worse. And he's like, well maybe you just need to learn to, to live with the anxiety. Cause that's not gonna go away. He said so many things like that, that it like in my brain, I, I don't have the ethics of that or the morality of that.

(23:39): Like I feel like there's gotta be something I can do. I'm not just gonna roll over. Which is what I felt like he was telling me to do. I'm like, no, I'm active. I see women in my races that are sixties and 65 and they're ripped and they're, they're in really good shape. I said, I can see myself doing that. And that's where I wanna be. So that alone is like, well, I just wanted to say that before cuz I was really fighting a, the, a therapist that was, I was going to for help. And that's what he was putting in my brain was that this is just, I just need to accept where I'm at. And if I never, if I would've listened to him, I never, would've gone to this other doctor. And then obviously I let that guy go. That therapist go, cuz he was, he almost was holding me back from where I thought I could be.

(24:19): Oh I think it's so true. And I wanna reiterate what you're saying, Shelly, to everybody listening, you know, medical professionals are some of the worst when it comes to negative mindset, beliefs about women over 40 and they will, we are be it's because what we're, it's what we're taught. We are taught that women it's normal for their age to be overweight, tired, have no sex drive, lose hair, just all the things and be anxious, right? And that it's only gonna get worse. You can only use medications to try to control it. And there's nothing else. And, and that's a bunch of BS. So I would reiterate that you cannot go to traditionally trained practitioners, not MDs deals, therapists, all of them. They're not trained in that. So if you go to the hardware store for milk, you're not gonna get it. So you need to go to a different store. So what are some practices you found personally that have been helpful beyond disbelieving your practitioner?

(25:23): Beyond my therapist. So as far as the mindset, which was probably the hardest for me, because for eight months I had been beating myself up, like I'm a trainer and I gained weight. So I had to get outta the mindset that everybody was looking at me like, how am I, how am I coaching and treating and training people. When I, when I'm unhealthy, I look unhealthy. But when I talk to people, they're like, it doesn't look like you gained that much. You gained some weight. But, but in my head I was so hard on myself. I mean, I would look in the mirror and be like, who the heck are you? Like? You know, I just didn't even like myself. So what I had to do with mindset wise is I spent a lot of time really trying to dive into why I believe these things as far as what other people thought of me, like it should have mattered, right?

(26:09): Like all these other people's opinions shouldn't shouldn't matter. But I had to be kinder to myself and more gentler I spent, I gave myself and this is where the self care comes in. I just spent more time with myself. I started doing things like I'm not a big pedicure manicure person, but I started like going and getting a pedicure or I would go for a 20-minute walk or I started just doing acupuncture and not a lot of people do that stuff cuz they're in pain. I would go just to help balance out my hormones naturally. Or I would do massage. Like I really started trying to take care of my body. And with that, and with the small changes, like we talked about strategies with the women, these small wins, I just had to give myself the small lens. I had to just start feeling better about myself and building up like the fitness, changing the fitness, the nutrition, different things like that to where I, I started believing that or reading about other people that were so happy in their fifties. And I thought, you know what? This is just a time period. And I'm not gonna let, I'm very stubborn. I'm like, I'm not gonna let this beat me. If somebody tells me I need to do this, I'm gonna do it. Just like that therapist was like, no, you're not ever gonna be able to run and stuff again. And I'm like,

(27:15): Yeah, I'm like,

(27:19): And every woman is different. A lot of women, if they have a lot of weight to lose, let's say 50 plus pounds, it's their mindset is gonna be different coming in. They need to be more nutrition geared. I feel like because for someone that's coming in with 10, 15 pounds, their nutrition just needs to be cleaned up a little bit. They're probably already eating pretty healthy. They're just not getting enough protein. Let's say, but for somebody has a lot more weight to lose it's they have a lot more depth to their, their pain points. They're they're struggling a lot more mentally. So each client I get, I look at differently and I really try to work that with that client individually. So that's kind of where I start. I just try to feel where they're at. And I wanna know those deep things that they're feeling that they won't tell anyone else.

(28:04): Cuz like all those things I was telling myself, I wasn't, I couldn't put a word on it to express to my partner what I was feeling and like we were not doing good. So it's just being able to talk to somebody too, the support in the community, which I know you have your own huge support and community system. And that during this time I feel like has been the most beneficial for a lot of my clients. They like knowing that somebody else is going through what they're going through. Maybe not the exact same, but that mm-hmm <affirmative>, we're all gonna get through this. We're just gonna go through some ups and downs or like my books has the waves, the hormonal waves, but it's not beating yourself up in the meantime, but enjoying that we still have these bodies that we are, we get the pleasure and you know, the time to take advantage of using. So let's use 'em

(28:44): Yeah. Let's use 'em until we lose 'em for sure. So what other things, anything else you'd like to share on your fit, menopause blueprint or your menopause tsunami? How to ride the hormone waves like a badass. I know you mentioned the four pillars. We talked a little bit about each one, any last words or most impactful things that you'd like to leave everyone with Shelly?

(29:08): Well, I mean the biggest thing for me is, is really slowing myself down to appreciate what I, what I do have. Like a lot of times we get so busy in our lives that we forget, we forget those things. We forget like how far we've come, even as a person or as a human being and all the hurt we've been through and the negativity and, and that we ultimately are in control of how we feel like we, you can, you can start talking better to yourself. But what I like to do is I just like to enjoy fitness. I, there is a way to enjoy it. If you find something that you like to do, it doesn't have to be torture all the time. Um, and then I really do try to find that 20 minutes a day of self care time, whether it be reading, I have a client who her family just refused to give her 20 minutes a day.